A Moment in Time

A Moment in Time
There comes a moment in one’s life that you realize that something’s wrong. You are just not sure of what it could be. Maybe it is the lack of money. Nah. I can do without wealth I have so far. Maybe it is the lack of family. Nope. My family loves care and me for me. We have our differences but then who does not. Maybe it is the lack of friends. Hell no. Friends are a dime a dozen, they come, they go, they blend. Those quarters are the ones you keep close to you. I have my buck fifty and I am very happy and fortunate to have those few friends. Scattered across the US table and underneath the bed somewhere, but they are my friends and I love them dearly.

I digress, there is something missing in my life, and I know what it is. It is called patience. I see my family, friends, relatives, and characters on TV. You all are *&^ crazy. I mean craaaazy for putting up with other people’s mess. REALLY? Is that what love is all about? Putting up with someone’s mess?

I can barely put up with myself. I know I am an ass to put up with. I am hard, conceited, flaky, dependable, honorable, deceitful, loving, caring, indifferent, insensitive, and the list goes on and on. Some positive, which is why you love me. Some negative which probably outweigh the positive ones. However, who is keeping the balance. ME. That is who.

I am keeping balance. Therefore, the question is: How much shit can you put up with from someone else? Okay, maybe two questions. WHY? Why would you put up with it? Do you put up with it because you do not want to be alone?
Love is a great thing, Mind you, if you have the patience and the hard headedness of putting up with it. I put up with my family and they put up with me, which technically means that have to put up with more. That is family you are born into it. You are blood related you are each other.
When it comes to someone else? Why would you put up with it?
If you can answer this, then I will understand more. Help me understand why I would want to put up with someone just to be in bed with him.
I admit I would love to have someone to hold me or hold on to when I am asleep. To tell him my hopes, dreams and fears. Listen to him as he counts his hopes, dreams, and fears.
The best part of having friends is that I do not have to put up with them for more than a couple of hours. I say goodbye and go on for a few days or a week. I cannot imagine putting up with those that I know for more than three hours in a row and for more than one day at a time.
Help me understand, why would you put up with them?
Love is blind. OMG. Love is not blinding. It’s stupefying. And to think, I’m here telling you my woes about wanting to be in love and have a lover and all of that. I guess I need to be patient and actually want to put up with someones s#$t for a while.


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