#1 of the Top 10 Gay Male Character Archetype – Straight Acting or Butch

Men by definition are masculine.

The word masculine brings us images of a male human with square shoulders, a V torso, strong arms and legs and a very square jaw. A man. The Alpha Male. When we write male characters this is the image that is automatically imagined by readers. We then write about the color of hair, eyes, how handsome they look in a loincloth in a romance novel. How virile and strong they are in an action novel. There is no difficulty writing about a Straight Man.

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Under the Lemon Tree

DEDICATION
mathew 23:27
woe on to your scribes
and pharisees, hypocrites!
For ye are like unto whited sepulchers
which indeed appear beautiful outward but
are within full of dead men's bones
and of all uncleanness

ACKNOWLEDGMENT
positive influences
family and friends
who have always been by my side
preventing mictlantecahtli\'s grasp
from taking me to mictlan, land of no smoke hole
by praying for the release of my soul or salvation

UNDER THE LEMON TREE
the lemontree surname
lovely, loving sisters in arms
fighting each other ridiculous reasons
using father's illness, an excuse for bloodshed
words are more dangerous, sharper than a knife, drawing blood

TLAMAMALLI
one who bears a burden
loving each other openly
respect i had learned from each and much more
together you fought battles for each other's life
let us bring peace to our family's name together again

CUALCAN
memories are special
cherish them always in my heart
family is forever and a day
our grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins
father, mother, sisters brother, nieces, and nephews

MELAHUAC
the perfect family
i grew up loved, as the firstborn
each aunt very different from the other
like a garden of dahlias each assorted color
all seven beautiful, honorable, independent

XOCOTL
xocotl a lemon
a quauitl is a tree
together, in nahuatl, lemon tree
my family's surname i honor and respect
sweet, bitter, energy, good mood, like a family

SENYELISTLI
it is a family
name in the aztec language
mother, father, sister, brother, daughter, and son
it is also our grandparents, grandchildren, aunt\'s, and uncles
all inclusive, no exceptions, our blood, accept it

TLAKALIA
a misunderstanding
hate, disdain, cruelty, blood, pain
sisters fighting over inheritance
broken laws, arrests, lawyers, money, false statements
taking what is not ours, and creating animosity

MIHCATZINTLI
matriarch's lonely grave
sisters break as chocolate
grandmother would have not ever suspect
seven daughters' love gone awry with disrespect
no more teaching the importance of love of family

TAJTSIN
entertained by daughters
defending his favorite always
watching them fight for a plot, not theirs
sisters loyalties shift, showing favoritism
it is not his land alone, he only owns a small part

TLATOLYAOTL
the lemons of discord
talking ill about the sisters
blaming each other parent\'s illness
who will watch grandfather? Everyone is busy
not common sense if you know better to work together

CAACIC
an unwarranted help
brought into a war by default
most kept out, no harm done, three stayed fighting
those with the ability to talk should hold tongue
sisters fight alone be fought, children need not to be involved

TENAMIKTLI
at patriarch\'s death bed
sisters blaming each other
jealousies of all unfaithful husbands
cheating lovers, loyalty earned at gunpoint
too much money and dominance are not enough for them
ixhuiuhtli

RECONCILIATIONS
they forgive and accept again
sisters, brother, and cousins are reunited
preparing weekly dinners is a tradition
our youth will one day run the world with love not hate

CONNEQUIZ
i do wish this should be
family closes boundaries
cousins met, present spouses and children
sisters with loose morals stop calling faithful whores
taking a closer look at tails to see how clean they are

SENYELISKAYOTL
it means family
to meet again, or the first time
from across borders to local cities
together again for one special evening
honoring my grandmother's last dying wish to break bread

AMATLAKUILOK
the author of this book
andres fragoso, jr.
Son, nephew, cousin, brother, uncle
family unity is essential to him
why must relatives fight amongst each other, and not love?

Xocotl

Xocotl a lemon
A Quauitl is a tree
Together, in Nahuatl, lemon tree
My family’s surname I honor and respect
Sweet, bitter, energy, good mood, like a family

 

3 Req – Money

 Money
Let’s say you’re older now. And, you’re fatter now. Let’s just say that all you have now is money. You’re in luck. You’re officially what the younger guys want in the gay community.
 I have met many men who have the money and they know what to do with it. One such man comes to mind, he’s around fifty or so, and he has money. (NO. NOT the creep I was telling you about earlier. He’s flat broke and lonely) Lot’s of money. Wealthy. He is good looking in a exotic way, fit (forced to be on a diet and exercises by the doctor) and amiable. Very nice personality and I’m happy to have known him.

When I first met him I was taken aback with what he did.  We would walk around the mall to walk or buy something and out of the blue he would tell me, “Wait here, I have to do something.” At first I thought nothing of it. After a while I was curious. I followed him.

He walks up to young men around their twenties, strike up a conversation and exchange numbers. After a few months of feeling more comfortable with me, he would just tell me who he was chasing and what he was going to do, I would sit back and watch the show.

A year later when we were more comfortable with each other, he would invite me to dinners with his new romances. I got to know a few of them. Some of them got to know each others. Some became movie stars, others became very successful men in their own right. Things that they would not have been able to do on their own, or with their own devices. A good exchange if you ask me.

If you have the money, flaunt it, get a boy toy and have some fun. Personally, if I had that kind of money I would spent it differently. I want to be loved for who I am, not for what I have. I’ll tell you why in a future post of why I think that way. I admit, when I had money I did what this man did, and I was not a happy man. I don’t know how he does it. All I know is that he is happy and comfortable being with many young men.

I may not be in the gay community anymore, but that’s cool with me. I want not to be labeled in their community. Too many drama queens.
I created my website with hosting.andresfragosojr.com

 

New Beau and an Ex

New Beau and an Ex
Now that I’m in my 40’s I’m not really looking for someone too young. I want to meet someone that is around my age plus or minus ten years at the most. I don’t want to be the dirty old man like that guy I was telling you about. Nor do I want to be the gold digging little whore I can become.  No I want something simple and clean. Nonetheless, I have a great story for you.
40’th birthday was well on its way and approaching fast.  I wasn’t sure how I wanted to spend it, so I came up with this great idea to have a Black and White party. Everyone come in black and white and have ho rs d’oeuvres and cocktails, some entertainment and a lot of fun. 
As the days creeped slowly to death. That summer I met this hot, very hot young man. I didn’t know how he was at the time. He was a manager for a store (let’s just say), he had his own place, his own car and everything.  Latino, but looked white, unless he spoke Spanish you wouldn’t know.  He grabbed my attention and we went out a couple of times.
We went out a few times. Dinners, a party here or there. Our conversations were long and interesting. We talked about our jobs, our summers, our women (okay, his) and some men (mine, I didn’t have one), and about what we would do in the future.  He was comfortable with his sexuality and with me. Never crossed any boundaries.
Riding in his car was fun, especially with him flirting with you. We almost always spoke in double entrendres’ I wasn’t sure what was going on. Seem familiar right. I don’t know what’s going on. I’m forty and its no different from when I was thirty. I really don’t know what’s going on with these so called straight guys. So the sun kept rising and the heat kept getting hotter. I almost had him in my room, but I wasn’t sure and decided to play it cool.  That’s a lot of cold showers in the summer instead of the guy.
My birthday finally arrived. My exes showed up too. In retrospect, I shouldn’t have invited them. Anyone of them. They made this party a hassle and a pain in the ass. I smiled and accepted it. It was my fault to begin with.  So the party starts going and my ex makes a spectacle of himself. Telling everyone that we were getting married, adopting kids and making our lives a moment of truth. The guy I was trying to bed heard it all, asked questions and got lost. He approached me towards the end and asks me what’s up. I told him that my ex was crazy.
I found out he was 22 and was a little confused about me and my ex.  He pulled me aside gave me a shot and told me that my es is really serious and that he was going to back off. I didn’t know what to say. First, I was drunk. Second, I didn’t realize we were serious. I didn’t know we were courting. Someone forgot to tell me. I would have given in to his desires (ok, mine) long ago. And third, WTF was I supposed to say?
I never saw him again. Damn it.  Take my head. Leave the ex’s in the past. That’s were they belong. They will only make your life miserable. Of course I made his miserable too. Why be selfish.
Can you beat that story? I hope so, because I feel soooo stupid. I didn’t know we were dating and I shouldn’t have invited my ex.
Moral of the story:  Bed the guy before its too late and don’t let him meet your ex’s.

3 Req. Youth

Youth. 
How young is young?
Depends on how old you are.If you’re 16, then 14 is excessively young. If you’re 30, then 14 is illegal, 16 is almost legal, 18 is legal, but somewhat freaky, and 25 is okay. 30 is just right, 35 is still all right, 40 is older, 50 is old, 60 and above then you’re just a boy toy. In the gay community.
Twinks. 18 to 25 is the perfect age. You can party, do drugs, get drunk and wake up in any bed you want. I hope that you’re playing safe. Aids is not as scary as it was in the 80’s but it’s still there. You can get any man you want. You can even charge for it. Okay, not with legal tender I hope, but definitely with dinners, movies and the like. Boy Toy. Yes, I’m talking to you.
The Man. Now if you’re 26 to 37. You’re a MAN. You’re defined by now. You have a job. Your own apartment and your own car. I hope that it runs. The car. Younger guys are looking at you because you’re more mature and you don’t drink as much or party too much. Nevertheless, you’re still in the game. You’re still alive.
Oldie, but still goody. Slowly death creeps in. 38 to 45. You’re not too old to keep at home, but you’re not young enough to hang out all night. Your body starts making noises. Noises start to bother you. The gym is now Jim, the guy next door you’re ogling at. You had better have one of the other two to survive in the game.
Pops. Retired, 46 to 65. Yes. Time to go out of the game. Now you’re just too gray to look good, your gut is down to your knees and you’re starting to creep me out (I’m only 42, so yeah you’re even creeping me out.) Time to start thinking of where you want to retire within the next decade. Time to cash in those favors.
Pervert. Death. 66 and above. You’re retired. You have money take care of me or you’re not getting what’s between my legs. That’s what the neighbor think of you when you’re looking at his crotch and not at his face. This is the age where you don’t give a rat’s ass about what people think. This is the age you stare and stare and stare and,.. What are you starring at? Oh, yeah. You forget things. Where was I?
So, yes. Without youth, you have nothing. I’m heading there soon. Therefore, I need to marry now. Anyone out there wants a 42 year old to marry. I don’t want to end up being a Pop or an Old Man.
That’s the first requirement of a gay man in today’s culture. With youth you can be someones boy toy. You can have guys ogling after you, buying you drinks at the bar, where you’re probably not old enough yet. The Chicken Hawks are after you. The perverts are after you through facebook, and Craigslist. They hunt you down and devour you. Ahh. To be devoured. There’s something new.
Now for a truth. I know a guy (casually) and I am afraid for the boys that are at the places he goes. He always tells me that he’s going to the mall hunting. Not that he succeeds mind you. But the thought just kinda creeps me out.  He’s in his fifties, about 6’3, bald so not to show how grey he is, big, big belly, crooked teeth, mustache and goatee. Kinda like a serial killer kind of look. That’s not all that’s creepy about him.  He would go to the mall or anywhere there are kids and openly stare at them. Make remarks at how they look. You can see him wipe the dribble from his face as he stares at these guys.  “The younger the better. Jeejeee.”

3 Requirements of the Gay Community

3 Requirements of the Gay Community

There are 3 requirements to be happy in the Gay Community. Without at least one of the three you’re literally the walking gay dead. I don’t necessarily mean I agree with it. However, I do see it and I do believe others believe in it.

Why only 3? That’s a good question. I don’t know the answer to that. And if I did, I probably wouldn’t tell you. Okay. I would. I’d putting here on my blog. I mean, what else can I write about? Right?
Okay. You’re probably at the edge of your seat wondering what in hell I’m talking about. What are the dreaded 3 requirements of the gay community.
Can’t tell you until next blog.
Okay. I’ll tell you now.

Youth
The proverbial word that marks the beginning of life. Senior citizen marks the end of times. I once was young and now I’m almost old. This beautiful requirement of fitting in the gay community has left me alone as I walk slowly with my walker to my coffin.  Maybe I’ll get that kid to carry me over the tomb.  Whatever. I don’t have youth and more, but what I like in youth, I over compensate in wisdom.

Looks
Somehow beauty is now the rage. Actually it always has been. Michelangelo’s sculptured David in stone. I’m pretty sure he manhandled that boy to get every inch of his body just right.  David would pose, tire and Michelangelo’s would massage him. Michelangelo’s would sculpt the stone and massage it as well.  He went back and forth from warm, tight, skin to a cold, hard stone.  I’m so jealous of Michelangelo, he had a living human body in his hands (literally) to work from.  I looked good until I was 26. I was a fat kid growing up. I turned 18 and I was slim and tight. I turned 25 and the physical demands of the Army sculptured my body. 26 I let go of the physical strains and grew, grew and grew like Jubba the Hut.

Money
This is what differentiates the Boys form the Boy Toys. If you have money you don’t have to have the youth or the looks. I can account for that wholeheartedly. I know about boys that look at me and think I have money and I’ve known grown man pay for those boys. I’m flat broke.

Life is a funny thing. Without one of the top three you’re screwed. I am the living, walking dead in the gay community. Life sucks, no wonder I’m single.

 

an interview with stepeh lovatt

Religion is sometimes a very difficult topic to touch on if you’re queer. For me being gay and having faith was a struggle of the conscience. From one side of the spectrum I heard all the horrible things that will happen to me for being gay and not following the Church. I grew up believing that if I wanted to believe in God, I would have to give up being whom I am. Then, I found Stephen Lovatt, author of “Faithful to the Truth.” Communicating with him across the pond has been a life changing experience.

Read full article here

My Twenties

When I was in my twenties, things didn’t change much. I was now attracted to men my age. Imagine that.  However, there were a couple of cases when an older man (32) caught my attention. It was a very seductive thought. An older man.  Oooohhh. A spoiled rich brat that started working at a fast food restaurant because his father was going to take him on the trust. I still have the silver Chai he gave me. I get a kick when people see me where it. A few gentlemen tried to have a conversation with me in Yiddish.
Let’s do that “If I knew then what I know now” thing. I’m getting to like that silly cliche; it serves its purpose.  When I hit 19 and 20, I was a big whore. Let’s be honest. I slept with students, teachers, faculty at the school it was going to. I got my self-involved in all the school activities. I was secretary of Student Government, I was a Big Brother and a few other select committees I started.
So, yes. If with what I know now, I probably wouldn’t do that. I was immature and vulnerable. I manipulated men easily. I had a lot of fun.  However, my nemesis showed a year later. He controlled me. He told me what to do, and I listened. He was my world. So much for being on top of the world. Now I was under his feet. I lost my heart, my way, and almost my life. Honestly, I don’t think I recovered from that break up that became a breakdown. If I knew him now, maybe I would still have gone out with him, only with a little more care.
In contrast, the guy with the Chai was hot. I mean an older man. It was taboo. He was taller than me. Nice toned body, brown eyes, and brown hair. A crooked smile, and a long nose (I tried to see if it was true), I didn’t know what to do. He took me to different places around the city. All I remember ever doing with him was get in his convertible Corvette and did a drug deal. He gave me his Chai, and I never saw him again.  Imagine that. An older man. Hmm. Now I’m older than what he was when I met him.